December 5th, 2011

It’s February 9, 1988 and you are watching your best friend unwrap one of God’s greatest gifts to mankind…at least in your mind.

What is that gift?

A brand new copy of Contra*

(*Probotector to my British friends with PAL Nintendos)

He pops it in (without blowing on it of course) and turns it on.

You barely have time to enjoy the techno goodness of the soundtrack before he’s furiously tapping away at the Player 1 controller…

Up, Up,

Down, Down,

Left, Right,

Left Right,

B, A,



Thirty. Lives.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen,

Before even trying the game on for size, he has already decided to use a cheat code.

Now as a gamer this seriously affects my sensibilities…

You haven’t even bothered to TRY before deciding that you need additional assistance to beat the game…

This is how I feel about when a significant other decides to ask this very simple question:

“Why did you and your ex break up?”

First and foremost?

This is a ridiculous question.


It really is none of your business. Unless of course you knew said ex, and had a vested interest in the success of the relationship…but then that would make your current assignment as significant other kinda weird wouldn’t it?


There’s really no concrete justification for this line of questioning.

If your boyfriend asks…then he wants to be lied to.

Tell him what he wants to hear and roll over and go back to sleep.

His insecurities will probably keep him up for a while, but that’s not your problem.

If your girlfriend says, “I want to get to know you better”

Then talk about your hobbies, aspirations, and the night you discovered masturbation.

Any boyfriend/girlfriend that wants to know about your past relationship is looking for a cheat code…a way to get around the initial difficulties that already foresee without having to go through the failure themselves.

What to do.

What not to do.

And hopefully they will get a recent pressure point that they can use to their advantage…

…either to appease/soothe by not repeating the mistakes of the unfortunate ex

…or to throw in your face at the earliest opportunity

Either way you have absolutely nothing to gain by divulging that information.

Don’t do it.

This entry was posted on Monday, December 5th, 2011 at 11:39 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

3 Responses to “cheat codes”

Just passing by Says:

I’m gonna have to hit you with a “Negro please” on this one. If I ask my dude, that question…it’s not because I’m looking for a cheat code or a shortcut. Sorry, but that doesn’t even make sense.
“Repeating the mistakes of the unfortunate ex”…You assume that in this case, the person being asked was always the one to do the breaking up.
“Throw it in your face at the earliest opportunity”…Paranoid much? You can quit looking over your shoulder now, the world isn’t out to get you.

Just my 3 cents.

SardonicBarbs Says:


mimi Says:

Men this seems like a lot of analysis from something as simple “why did you and you’re ex break up”? If I’ve asked someone I liked this question? Honestly its just to see the other side they don’t show to the world- sensitivity, openess mostly just to know we can talk about anything. Lol I am DEF gona think twice if I ever ask this question… Actually now I think of it I’ve only ever asked one person and that’s cos I just wanted him to talk… No one really cares why u and ur ex broke up… Shii that’s why u with me!

Leave a Reply

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

%d bloggers like this: