January 23rd, 2012

I have a girlfriend that is looking to get married
That is to say I have a friend who is a girl, and is looking to get married
…and not to me.
She’s 24.
Smart.
Well educated.
Stylish & Sophisticated.
Oh and she’s smoking hot.
So.
what seems to be the problem officer?
Actually, there is no problem.
At least not with her attributes, personality, or wifely skills.
Did I mention she can cook up a storm?
Tasmanian devil in the kitchen I tell you.
If you’re staring at your screen waiting for me to reveal the catch
…well wonder no more

She and I were having a conversation one day about marital infidelity
Its causes, prevalence, and possible prevention.
We came up with a bunch of “what-if” scenarios and shared our possible reactions and
remedies to them
It was then she dropped the bombshell.

Her: my husband is going to cheat
He is a man…and all men cheat.
Me: what if you find a good man? One that doesn’t want to cheat?
And never does?
Her: Doesn’t matter. In my mind he has already cheated.

For her it doesn’t matter if he resists temptation.
He has already been measured and found wanting…
Now I threw up the argument that her mindset could turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy;
Basically that her indifference to his potential infidelity would cause him to seek it
But she argued that she wouldn’t be apathetic to it, on the contrary, she would expect him home at night, quiz him, and love him (all at the same time of course) like any normal wife.

She just believes that this man, no matter how saintly, would find a way to sneak in a quick lay behind her back no matter how vigilant she would be.
So to ease her own mind. She concluded that all men do and will cheat on their wives and she is prepared to get married with that notion stuck firmly in her head.

I do wonder how many women (and men) have come to this selfsame conclusion…
…I also wonder if it would actually work to save/prolong a marriage.

This entry was posted on Monday, January 23rd, 2012 at 3:51 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

8 Responses to “high-fidelity”

Insight Says:

Is this girl serious? If i thought the man i was about to marry would cheat then by all means let him, so long as he realised that he just ended of all hope of us ever having a future together, once he walked out the door the locks would be changed and his stuff thrown out the window.
She’s given him the green light to cheat, does she do the same? Is this an open marriage?

SardonicBarbs Says:

Let me ask a question: if your husband did cheat, would you rather he told you or would you rather not know?

insight Says:

I’d wanna know. So I could divorce him. Lol.
Seriously though, I wouldn’t wanna hear it but I’d rather that than the humiliation of having other people know what he was up to and me being in the dark taken for a fool. I’d only enter into marriage if I thought it was going to be a faithful relationship, if that changed then so would my motivation for marriage.

SardonicBarbs Says:

would your opinion change if he cheated and nobody else knew? (other than the girl of course)

Insight Says:

nope. i’d still wanna know if that trust was broken. Gotta have the truth.

D REY Says:

Why the mystery? There is none.

She wants to marry an athlete or a guy with quite a bit of sex appeal.

Because there’s plenty of humble, regular, church going, average looking guys waiting to make a woman of this description their queen and one and only.

These are basic facts brought upon by natural human selection and behavior yet we continue to present them in different facets and styles in order to drum up interesting conversation.

SardonicBarbs Says:

now im not entirely sure how you got to the athlete/sex appeal conclusion, but i can tell you that she does actually believe that the humble, regular, church going average looking guy will also cheat. period.

taynement Says:

If it was a one time thing, no I don’t want to know. If it’s a continuous, frequent thing I’d rather he told me.

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