June 19th, 2012

guest post by the Yearning Ninny

People say love hurts
But if it hurts…is it really love?
Isn’t love meant to make you happy?
Do people just say love hurts to justify their dysfunctional relationships?
I mean, it’s far easier to say that…than admit that the relationship you’ve poured your heart and soul into failed.
Nobody likes failure.
Especially failure in something you wanted so much.
What is love anyway?
The ‘chemistry’ that is so often talked about can surely be attributed to lust,
and the qualities you like in that person are based on friendship.
Is it the combination of the two that creates love?
Is there a winning ratio?
Whatever love is, is there really only ever one true love?
Or are there many loves?
Do we just feel the need to believe that the one we end up with is THE one,
rather than the one we settled for?
Is it the happily ever after concept we fall in love with?
After my ‘first love’, I thought that ‘true love’ came down to timing.
It’s relatively easy to meet someone you like,
who you fancy…
who you want to spend time with…
and if you both want the same thing at the same time…it’s love,
or at least you start to think it is.
You interpret their characteristics in a more favourable manner
because you want the same things at the same time.
You want it to work,
so you work harder at the relationship to make it work.
For example, if a girl is ready to live with a guy and the guy isn’t ready,
maybe he likes his space and doesn’t want to fill his apartment with girl crap;
it doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t like the girl,
it means he’s not ready for that stage of his life yet.
They are not in the same ‘place’ at the same time.
If you’re not in the same ‘place’ at the same time;
you’ll probably break up.
This relates to everything from libido to living together, marriage, children etc…
If you’re in different stages of your life, for whatever reason,
it won’t pan out.
Certainly not until you’re in the same place.
As I said, this is what I used to think.
Before I met someone who made me question that, and then disbelieve it.
Simple…I thought I’d found true love.
I thought love was the most amazing feeling in the world.
I thought love hurt, sometimes…
I couldn’t imagine my life being as content without him in it.
Then he went away.
We weren’t in the same place.
Apparently even when you want the same things, practicalities get in the way.
Shit happens.
So, I’m left wondering, was it really ‘true love’, or was it ‘a love’?
I think I have to believe it was ‘a love’…
if it was my one shot at true love then I’m fucked…
Because whatever you think love is, the fact of the matter is, without it, life’s a little less… interesting.

guest post by the Yearning Ninny 

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 19th, 2012 at 9:42 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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