January 19th, 2012 | 2 Comments »

I have been in love and then, almost inevitably, have had my heart broken. Both are felt deeply and physically and colour the world as bright and as dark as only they can. The falling was accompanied by a soundtrack of hours spent listening to music newly discovered in common or shared as new and then becoming part of our canon. Metaphor and literal, music was a deep vein that sometimes bled in response to the joy or pain that comes from having your heart so wide open and wrapped around the object of your affection. It was a betrayal to see or hear him share songs with anyone else. Trivial you may think but for me a sign of disloyalty – our secret treasures shared with strangers, interlopers. We can be so focused on the wrong things! We grew, as did the collection, our finds so intertwined we could not tell who the credit should go to and didn’t really care. Playlists shared, songs sent over thousands of miles, a thread linking me to you, proof of life, of love. Now I am left with thousands of memories, reminders. I crave silence and then find I cannot live without the music even as it is a thousand pinpricks drawing blood with each memory.

Recently found, a rare simultaneous find, in a moment between late night and early morning, this song and it’s heartfelt video came as a beautifully wrapped gift. It moved and held us silent together, in love with music together. Rhythm and melody, lyrics and movement all perfectly, heartbreakingly in sync – like the best moments of falling and being in our love.

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