August 22nd, 2016 | No Comments »
Silver is cool, and imma let you finish...but a diamond ring is forever B...

Silver is cool, and imma let you finish…but a diamond ring is forever B…

Soooo…this happened.

For the long version and all the gooey details – click here

Short version:
He Zi (Chinese diver) wins a silver in the 3m springboard…
her boyfriend of six years, Qin Kai (bronze, 3m synchronized springboard) then decides to get down on one knee and propose to his woman…


So apparently there has been all kinds of drama on social media about this

one camp thinks its amazing…
while the other thinks Qin Kai did an awful thing and was trying to diminish He Zi’s medal win by proposing in that setting…

because as you know…
marriage congratulations and Olympic medal congratulations are not the same…
there’s levels to this shit…

It may also be that fearless diver Qin Kai also denied her the pleasure of receiving her marriage congratulations at a different time and place…
so everyone there was offering just double congratulations…
who the fuck asked you to consolidate?

let’s simply ignore the possibility that this might be his last Olympic games (dude is 30) and he wanted to go out with a blast…

but…but…why didn’t he propose to his girlfriend when he won his own medal?

good question
just a guess but I would say he didn’t want to distract the fuck out of his girlfriend who would be diving the next day…
…but that is just a guess.

I think the faux outrage is amusing

I chose the “article” above for the referenced Twitter comments even though I do not know most of these people (and doubt I will be googling any of them later…)

Trev Butler said:

“Why did he have to steal her moment?”

uh… for the record, here is He Zi’s medal history at the olympics…

  • 2012 – won gold (with Wu Minxia) in women’s 3m springboard synchronized diving at the 2012 Summer Olympics.
  • 2012 – won silver in 3m in women’s 3m springboard diving at the 2012 Summer Olympics.
  • 2016 – won silver in 3m in women’s 3m springboard diving at the 2016 Summer Olympics.

so why is everyone acting like she hasn’t been there before?

Charlotte L Riley tweeted:

“Public proposals are bad enough but a public proposal that also detracts attention from the fact that she’s just won a silver medal?! Nope.”

well this sentiment would suggest that proposals trump medals in whatever fucked up hierarchy is being used in judgement…right?

Bruno Sandilands said:

“Definitely trolled her moment. Marriage proposal should be a personal and private moment – then and only then will you get a true answer. A lady should never feel pressurised into making a life changing decision on the spot. She has trained years for this let her enjoy her time.”

There is a certain cynicism in this sentiment that tickles me.
No! Don’t make an amazing memory that she will remember forever
No! Don’t allow her to share that memory with other people
…especially her teammates or family/friends in the stands
No! Don’t have a story for your kids
…who does that anyway?

Marcus wrote:

“Imagine winning a silver medal and your boyfriend makes it all about him with a marriage proposal.”

because it’s not you people making it about him
i guess that’s what he gets for making his girl the happiest woman in the arena…

overcome... with joy? or acute embarrassment? overcome…
with joy?
or acute embarrassment?

I cannot wait to hear what my friend M has to say about this…
M has a very strict “No proposals in public” policy
the proposal must be private or not at all…
no friends…no family…
no elaborate setup to surprise her in front of people.
she has promised to disgrace any man who seeks to disgrace her…

Another said: “What a way to add pressure to her, having the entire world watch her as she makes such a private and life-changing decision.”

I actually laughed at this.
here’s my question:
After 6 years of being in a relationship with someone, why on earth would the decision to marry that same person would be considered “life changing”??

side note 1:
I am surprised that nobody thought to be “outraged” on behalf of Shi Tingmao.
She actually won the event…and had her ceremony “upstaged”
so gold medal…but no voltrons

Glad she seemed to be loving the whole thing.


side note 2:
this was the second marriage proposal of the Rio Games 2016
but I guess nobody wanted to bother bashing Marjorie Enya on Isadora Cerullo’s behalf…
must be because Isadora didn’t win a medal


yeah…that must be it.

Posted in Opinion, Why So Serious
January 24th, 2012 | No Comments »

You are both in love always in that moment
Intense on the edge
Begging to tip over
Begging to stay in that moment
The veil is drawn
No questions unanswered
You know all, love all.
Unhearing, unseeing, you drift
Away on the high
Complete, whole.
Then it’s awakening;
Eyes drawn, you gaze
You may feel but can not really know –
That moment has been someone else’s too perhaps
You’ve been there before too but this seems
It is lived for, the daily routine a dance
To this point
Time apart only prelude to forever.
You couldn’t have seen that otherness coming
Now a stranger with a stranger.
It stays with you.

Posted in Uncategorized
January 19th, 2012 | 2 Comments »

I have been in love and then, almost inevitably, have had my heart broken. Both are felt deeply and physically and colour the world as bright and as dark as only they can. The falling was accompanied by a soundtrack of hours spent listening to music newly discovered in common or shared as new and then becoming part of our canon. Metaphor and literal, music was a deep vein that sometimes bled in response to the joy or pain that comes from having your heart so wide open and wrapped around the object of your affection. It was a betrayal to see or hear him share songs with anyone else. Trivial you may think but for me a sign of disloyalty – our secret treasures shared with strangers, interlopers. We can be so focused on the wrong things! We grew, as did the collection, our finds so intertwined we could not tell who the credit should go to and didn’t really care. Playlists shared, songs sent over thousands of miles, a thread linking me to you, proof of life, of love. Now I am left with thousands of memories, reminders. I crave silence and then find I cannot live without the music even as it is a thousand pinpricks drawing blood with each memory.

Recently found, a rare simultaneous find, in a moment between late night and early morning, this song and it’s heartfelt video came as a beautifully wrapped gift. It moved and held us silent together, in love with music together. Rhythm and melody, lyrics and movement all perfectly, heartbreakingly in sync – like the best moments of falling and being in our love.

Posted in Uncategorized
November 27th, 2011 | 5 Comments »
Introducing Jack and Jill. 
Jill is sexy. gorgeous. smart. 
She is outgoing and a whirl on the social scene.
She loves men.
But she cannot commit to one. 
The mere idea of being in an “official” relationship makes her feel strangled
So she avoids the girlfriend label like the plague.
Asking her to “go steady” is asking to never hear from her again. 

Jack is also smart
Jack is good looking
Jack is a workaholic 
He does not have much time to dedicate to relationships
When he tries to cultivate one, it’s usually discarded in short order 
His work comes first.
…and second. 

Jack meets Jill. Jack likes Jill.
But he makes no moves because he’s convinced himself that she’d expect/demand a relationship or some sort of commitment
So he backs off
But Jill likes the fact that he doesn’t make the traditional moves
So she gives the green light almost immediately
They want it simple. basic. sexual.
it works well for both of them.
no strings. no fuss. no expectations to muddy the waters.  
most importantly. no commitment. 

Enter Danielle. 
Danielle is friends with Jill. 
like Jill,  she is gorgeous,  free spirited, and fun. 
Danielle and Jill hang out a lot, and one day Jack meets up with them for drinks.
Jack meets Danielle, and Danielle meets Jack.
There’s an instant sexual spark. 
Jill sees it and freaks out. 
Danielle thinks its fun to flirt with Jack and tempt him…
Jack thinks its fun to flirt back and be tempted.
Jill watches their exchange and considers the possibility that they might hook up 
the thought of them hooking up makes her angry and jealous

Does she have a right to be?

image stolen from