July 12th, 2012

It is real.
Its roots run deep, beyond reason.
Suppress it, battle it, give in to it, resist – it exists, lives.
It’s the reason why…and why not.
It’s what drives you,  a compelling force…
what motivates you,
keeps you working into the night
and has you up at the crack of dawn.
It’s what holds you back.
It gnaws at you,
makes you second-guess yourself,
question everything,
stops you cold in your tracks and leaves you with regret.
It’s part of who you are…and who you don’t want to be.
You look in the mirror until you don’t recognize yourself.
You cling to it…
maybe keeping your eyes on it will be your keep you from it.
You suppress it, or it will taint your victories.
You embrace it, for it must exist for a reason?
You resist, you refuse to be dictated to.
You give in to it.

I blame myself.
Maybe if I hadn’t said the words…
admitted to him the fear I felt,
tried to share it to make it lighter,
to make it nothing to be scared of…
That memory calls to me out of the dark –
You missed something,
you made a mistake,
you’ve no one to blame but yourself.
Cause and Consequence.
Is it poverty or Hunger?
Failure or Disappointment?
heartbreak…divorce…infidelity?
Loneliness? Loss?
Growing Old? Ill Health?
Or just time getting away from you?

guest post by the Fallout

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 12th, 2012 at 5:27 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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